Biggest Loser’s Winner Is Really The Loser

David may be the “King”, but if you saw at him at the finale yesterday, you’d be forgiven if you thought he was an emaciated homeless man who wandered on stage.

It was quite a disturbing sight. He was literally half the man he once was, dropping over half his body weight in 5 months. Any fitness trainer with a brain will tell you that this is not only horribly misguided, but disastrous on your health.

It’s obvious David didn’t get the memo that it’s not about losing weight, but losing FAT. He managed to work off all his muscle along with the fat with 8-10 hour workouts daily on a dangerously low calorie deficit.

I think Carlo is the real winner here. He did it the right way, building muscle to lose the fat. He looks like the pink friggin’ panther of health compared to David.

David might have walked home with a lump of cash and a new ride, but I suspect he’ll be using it to drive to the hospital for a spending spree in the ICU before the year is up. Carlo on the other hand will probably enjoy life with his healthy new body for years to come if he tones the program down to maintenance levels.

The Biggest Loser is going to kill someone eventually. It’s not a health program. It’s entertainment. Some people forget that.

Posted March 10th, 2010

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Fabulous

The pink vest that was ahead of his time, the fabulous secret powers, the ability to sing in flawless falsetto – He-Man will always be a legend.

Posted February 21st, 2010

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iPad. The Ad.

The iPad is more ovulationary than I thought.

Posted January 29th, 2010

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Me, At Work

It’s been relentless and remorseless.

Posted January 18th, 2010

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They Jerk It Right

This little gem was buried in my drafts folder for a while, and it really shouldn’t be. Found in the menu of local pancake joint PHOP:

Oven Baked Pancakes

This traditional dish eaten by German farmers is also known as a Dutch Baby. Piping hot, fluffy pancakes with crusty brown edges and rich buttery taste, the Dutch Baby batter is especially whipped up on order and requires a slightly longer waiting time.

Understandable, considering the average male takes about 2 minutes to “whip up” the first batch of baby batter, and exponentially longer on each subsequent batch. Just don’t be the 10th person to order the dish – unless you like waiting 2 hours for your droplet-sized pancakes.

Posted January 3rd, 2010

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Heyyyy What’s That New Year Doing In Here?

huhh

I didn’t order any! And I’m not paying for it.

Posted January 1st, 2010

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YOU SIR!

You’re blighting my cup of tea.

The original song by Electric Six:

It blew my… mind.

Posted December 14th, 2009

Filed under Ha ha!, Hit and Run | 2 Comments »

This Christmas, Give Your Loved Ones a Handjob

They’ll be so excited. Mmmm mmmm excited.

Posted December 10th, 2009

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