The Count’s Other Obsession

Apparently it involves *bleep*.

Poor boy falls for a girl who obviously doesn’t deserve him.

The internet community reacts:

The smooth criminal finally beat it.

It’s a hereditary heart condition. Apparently it was in his Billy Gene.

Oh suuure. Rich white lady dies of a heart attack and the media is all over it. What if this was a black man?

Apparently he died of food poisoning after eating a 9-year old wiener.

Glad I didn’t die today. Too much competition.

Everyone hold your crotch for a moment of silence.

Couple months we can reshoot that Thriller video….

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

Q: What time did Michael Jackson die?
A: 3:15 - when the big hand is touching the little hand.

In memory of Michael Jackson’s passing, McDonalds is introducing the MJ Burger. It’s 50 year old meat between 10 year old buns.

Difference between Jacko and Disney films? Disney films can still touch kids.

Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? He thought it was a delivery service.

You’ve been hit by
You’ve been struck by
A failed ventricle

It’s just as well that Michael left at 50 remembered as the legend he is. I don’t think anyone, including himself, could’ve taken the thriller of seeing his face at 80.

Long live the King.

Roger Ebert offers:

If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

If it is imperative that you part with your RM12, might I suggest you give it to me in exchange for a swift kick to the crotch. It’s less offensive, less painful, and saves you 2.5 hours of your life. Consider it my contribution to society.

How da Terminatah came to look like Ahnold. It’s fahnee! It’s not a tumah! Get to da choppah!

Turns out comments were spontaneously disabled somehow by something or someone – presumably not me. I have to admit, I was getting a little worried that this blog was appealing only to mimes with penis fetishes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Thanks James and Jason for pointing it out. The disabled comments, I mean.

“We are monitoring the targeted outlets and if necessary will arrest any person wearing black as they approach the outlets,” a police spokesman said.

They don’t mix.

Psst! Is everyone gone yet? Great. Because HERE COMES A SHIT TON OF PENIS.