Archive for December, 2006

The secret is that they use only gourmet ingredients fresh from the sidewalk. Where it sits marinating for weeks in a delightful combination of spit and piss. And on special occasions, rat shit. It goes without saying that I eat there for lunch almost every day.

Where East Eats Weat. Of course, what they really meant to say was, “Where East Eats West”.

Does your penis sleepwalk at night? Do your testicles weep for no apparent reason? Your therapist is waiting. And remember to pick up your complimentary Dickorations on the way out.

Turns out the listening test was a bitch. A tape recorded bitch who spews at the rate of 500 words per second and expects you to understand what she just said, via multiple choice answers. With a bastard’s voice thrown in occasionally to confuse you. Of course I did well.