November 10, 2005
Posted by Kurt
A Productive Day
AAIIYEEEEEARGHH!
That was for Jackie, who, in her professional stalker opinion, thinks I should be afraid. Ha ha! I am writing this under my blanket in bed.
Yesterday, I went to work — an activity only people in Asian countries engage in, because our governments won’t give us free money or a “dole” as they call it in Australia — and as usual, the first thing I do is fire up the computer and walk downstairs to make myself a nice warm cup of cold water. Then I walk back up, because I firmly believe that employees have a duty to their employers to not squander company time by loitering around and managing accounts. My motto at work is, “Productivity is King”, and I make great pains to live by it, spending many intense hours and often, even whole days, analysing the contents of kennysia.com and minishorts.net.
I was especially productive that day, managing to deface kennysia.com with a 51-word comment, a personal best. I hit submit, and also that pesky fly that has been loitering around my cubicle for WEEKS (he was on the dole). When the page refreshed, Kenny had updated the post with some doink’s website as blog plug of the day. Then I realised that the doink had the same name as I, so I decided he wasn’t such a doink after all. Good thing, though, because 5 hours later it dawned on me that the doink was indeed, ME.
I was shocked. I didn’t do anything to Kenny. I dug deep, I thought hard: Why would he do such a thing? And I concluded that it was because he did.
It was a total surprise, and, thank God, the curtains were ready. But nothing prepared me for the horror (Jackie told me it was a horrible thing) that followed, and I’m talking major scary here: People are stalking me! Not one, but TWO! And I don’t even like vegetables!
Ha ha! Just kidding with you; I like vegetables. Especially the poultry variety.
But back to my stalkers, Jackie and ronlim. I have to question their on-the-job knowledge. No, they’re not failed stalkers in any sense of the word, but I thought stalkers only stalked FAMOUS people. You know, like Brad Pitt, Zhang Ziyi, or that fat dutch kid. It’s disturbing, how things are changing in the world. Soon, we’ll have the President of the United States going around starting wars for fun. Imagine that.
So anyway, I just want thank Kenny for all the veggies, and I hope he has a great time in Singapore, where the stalkers actually know what they’re doing.
Meanwhile, if I should suddenly disappear one day, it’s probably this man’s fault:
6 Comments
November 10, 2005
You deserved Kenny’s Butt (Blog) Plug Of The Day, man. Your butt’s a great read.
You’re the anti-XiaXue! Bitchin’ free guaranteed!
November 10, 2005
Ahem. (*clears throat*) I regret using the words ‘stalk’, ‘stalker’, ‘stalking’ and whatever other derivatives you can think off. This is only because you have used it far too much in this post that I am thoroughly embarassed. However I am quite pleased and very much gratified at your very satisfactory scream. And now that I have achieved closure, I hereby resign and will let Ron take over as chief stalker. But I’ll drop in once in a while (or everyday, heh) and you can come out from under you blanket now
November 10, 2005
Darryl: Why, thanks, I try to keep it toned and cellulite-free.
Jackie: Glad you liked the scream, unlike my neighbors.
November 10, 2005
if poultry were veggies, everyone would be a vegetarian… well, everyone except the vegetarians.
nice blog =)
November 10, 2005
hoi. Jackie. Come back. One mention of vegs and you abandon ship.
Kurt, questioning my stalking credentials eh.
Frankly speaking, I’m new to this stalking thing. I didn’t know you knew so much about stalking, and that the criteria for the ‘stalkee’ is fame. You know too much about stalking… you’re a stalker yourself arent ya?
Anyways, I’ve always been lurking here and there (there being Kennysia, here being… Kennysia), but never said much, coz there was enough being said.
Maybe it was that little link at the end of your post saying… Leave a comment… that woke the stalker within me and prompted the metamorphosis from lurker to stalker. Like the butterfly of vegetables… urh … anyways… *quickly sidetracks* Look! Long post! Stalker material.
Bottom line – love your style with words. Keep your muse satisfied ok?
November 11, 2005
hey, add another stalker to your list. now, if only i know more about you other than your name……and dietary preference. ;p
Sorry, comments for this entry are closed at this time.