Are You a “Mat Cemerlang”?
Putera Umno Chairman Datuk Abdul “The Zeez” Azeez Abdul Rahim thinks the term Mat Rempit is too negative and wants to “change the illegal race participants’ image towards something better”, such as “Mat Cemerlang (Excellent Mat)”.
This blog for one TOTALLY AGREES with The Zeez. Let’s give these illegal, violent thugs a break and call them by cute endearing names such as Mat Barney Dinosor and Mat Spongebob while they continue to run us off the roads and smash our cars with their helmets and parangs because hey, they’re just misunderstood. If anything, we should encourage these undiscovered geniuses, who are able to boost “the speed of their motorcycles to 180 kilometres per hour” while Honda engineers are “having difficulties to achieve a speed of 120 kilometres per hour”. Imagine that! They’re better than Honda’s TOP ENGINEERS! It’s amazing how far a primary education can get you in this country.
Of course, how to break the law isn’t the only thing that we can learn from these young model citizens. “Abdul Azeez said several things that could be learnt from these illegal riders were their strong camaraderie and a large membership of at least 5,000 riders despite being an unregistered club.”
“Due to this strong bond, 30 Mat Rempit will beat us if we cause trouble with its members,” he added.
To further strengthen this “strong bond”, and presumably to not get beat up with a motorcycle helmet, The Zeez will hold a Mat Rempit contest in which the winner receives a Satria Neo, because hell, there are only so many innocent pedestrians you can run over with a kap-chai doing 180km/h.
So it’s all good, but while we’re at it, let’s not forget the rapists and snatch-thieves, or Mat Tekun and Mat Sopan as they should be known from here on. There’s just so much we can learn from them.
August 24th, 2006 at 9:23 am
hahahahahahahaha… it’s so sad when the govt comes up delusional ideas like this one.
August 24th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
Now I know who The Zeez has been talking to…
August 25th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
i hate those rempit fuckers.
August 25th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
hedo: Delusional? Let’s give them credit where it’s due. The minimum IQ required to take on a political office here is extremely high at 5, so maybe we don’t understand a lot of their policies because our IQs are too low, say, in the 200s.
ron: Ooh, an ellipsis! I’m TOTALLY on the edge of my seat now.
jason: Oh, I LOVE them! You should see them trying a stunt and falling off their bikes at 120km/h on a major highway.
August 25th, 2006 at 11:23 pm
Kurt the Mat Tekun
August 27th, 2006 at 2:10 am
Why don’t legalise prostitution ? Frankly I don’t see prostitution a threat to the public as compared to mat rempit that dangerous to other motorist.
August 28th, 2006 at 11:36 am
ix: Ok, Mat Sembilan.
qwerty: Because mat rempits give them more political mileage. Heh, gotta love unintentional puns.
September 4th, 2006 at 11:01 am
[...] 1. The Official Blog Car door scratched to hell in a shopping complex carpark 2. The Official Blog Car door sent for a respray 3. The Blog: RM300 poorer 4. The Official Blog Car ran up a kerb at 53km/h because a Mat Rempit in a Proton decided to play “Tailgate Overtake Cut Lane Brake Hard Squeezy Squeezy” 5. The Official Blog Car sent for repairs YET AGAIN 6. The Blog: RM300 poorer 7. The Blog would like to thank The Zeez and Mr Son-In-Law from the bottom of its lower orifices. 8. The Blog managed to secure accommodation in Beijing, which is the biggest miracle since the birth of baby Jesus, considering it’s not in Beijing yet, and is only renting for 3 months, and the place doesn’t cost a kidney and a pancreas, and it doesn’t have cockroaches scuttling around moldy walls, and the fact that you can find the toilet by sight, not by smell. And that’s a lot of “and”s. [...]
September 5th, 2006 at 11:04 pm
The glorification of Mat Rempits is mind-boggling.
That usually happens when a joker tries to get supporters.
August 14th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Your blog is interesting!
Keep up the good work!