Kurtlow.com » Announcements

Dark Knight On The Max

Kurt — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:29:54 +0000

Sure, you saw the premiere ahead of me. Go ahead and brag while you can, because tomorrow, I’ll be watching The Dark Knight the way God intended: On IMAX. Suck that!

This has helped my preparation for the nipple-exploding experience that is to come:

It helps get you into the mood.

Update: Jeebus, if you haven’t seen The Dark Knight, you’re missing out on the best superhero movie of all time. WATCH IT NOW. It punches Superman and Ironman in the nuts. Heath Ledger’s Joker performance deserves an Oscar, posthumous or not.

Malaysia: Circling the Drain Just That Bit Faster

Kurt — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:43:58 +0000

Prepare for a month of epic lulz.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits!

Kurt — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 07:56:05 +0000

George Carlin is dead.

What a sad, sad day for humanity. In remembrance, here’s the original routine that made George Carlin a living (well, until yesterday) legend.

Pic via Charleston City Paper

As for me, I’ll remember him every time I pull out my shit-this-is-heavy compilation of “An Orgy of George“, and watch his many HBO specials.

Good riddance, George. And fuck you. It was fun while it lasted.

UPDATE: Here’s a video of the original Seven Words performance:

New Clothes

Kurt — Sat, 17 May 2008 09:53:12 +0000

Panties, they are not mine
Only width, white and shine
Now with more uh-oh
Kurtlow.com 2.0

Pardon the Appearance

Kurt — Sat, 17 May 2008 02:33:33 +0000

While I meddle about the blog.

Happy Chinese New Year

Kurt — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:48:20 +0000

And may prosperity find your home easily, with Google Earth.

Happy 2008 You Guys and Girls

Kurt — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 17:59:29 +0000

Now that we’ve got one foot in the door of 2008, let us hurl ourselves fully into it for great success. Or great fail to everyone else’s lulz. Meanwhile, cheers! *burp*

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Kurt — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 16:01:59 +0000

I had to dodge the “So When Are You Getting Married??!!” question approximately 253 times from various relatives this year, but the ang pows more than made up for it. Also, shoving my fingers into my ears and shouting “LALALALALALA!!!” helped. I’ll be off tomorrow to Langkawi for the 2007 Ironman Langkawi Triathlon (which my company sponsors) for work, so there will be few updates between now and Monday when I get back. I know I haven’t been updating nearly enough lately, but don’t let that stop you from hitting F5 every 5 seconds — having a social life is totally overrated.

See y’all in a bit!

Shield Your Eyes, Cup Your Ears

Kurt — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 14:07:59 +0000

Happy Halloween, ghouls and ghoulettes.

That Thing On Your Right

Kurt — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 09:45:14 +0000

I still haven’t really figured out this whole blogging thing. Often, I sit down on my bed and wonder: “Why am I sitting on my bed?” Then I go back to sleep, on the floor. But blogging has certainly enhanced my life in many tangible, meaningful ways:

(30 second pause)

Yeah.

Anyways, I have added a “Tagboard” which now sits boldly and proudly on the sidebar area awaiting your loving abuse and personal invitations to gamble and use the winnings on bulk purchases of viagra and penis pumps online (500% enlargement guaranteed or your money back, penis not included).

If you’re not entirely familiar with the whole blogging tech scene as I am, a “Tagboard”, also known as a “Board That is Used to Tag, Whatever That Means”, is simply a little piece of code you put in your sidebar that enables your readers to solicit easy sex, throw personal insults and make indecent marriage proposals, thus making the entire blog experience that much more rewarding. Occasionally, someone says something nice and heartwarming that makes the world seem a better place, such as “Peace on Earth!”, but that person is obviously on weed.

So there you have it, a “Tagboard” on Kurtlow.com, for your daily rambling needs. Feel free to stay the hell away.