The time has finally come for me to say goodbye to Beijing, a delightful city that I’ve grown to love despite my initial reservations, which were mostly toilet hygiene related. While I still throw toilet paper into the toilet bowl with total impunity, I’ll miss the days here of carefree projectile spitting and spectacular bicycle [...]
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Kurt in Beijing archives
December 6, 2006
Posted by Kurt
The BLCU Cafeteria Serves Tasty Food
The secret is that they use only gourmet ingredients fresh from the sidewalk. Where it sits marinating for weeks in a delightful combination of spit and piss. And on special occasions, rat shit. It goes without saying that I eat there for lunch almost every day.
Where East Eats Weat. Of course, what they really meant to say was, “Where East Eats West”.
Turns out the listening test was a bitch. A tape recorded bitch who spews at the rate of 500 words per second and expects you to understand what she just said, via multiple choice answers. With a bastard’s voice thrown in occasionally to confuse you. Of course I did well.
November 30, 2006
Posted by Kurt
Speaking Test
It went AWESOME, if you discount the 204 or so horribly awkward silences. Listening test tomorrow — the last one THANK GOD — I hear it’s a real bitch. We’ll see about that.
That is my assessment of today’s writing test. It was easier than I thought, but harder than I expected. My cousin Minyee took the same test last year and scooped up 99%, and last I checked, she’s about as Banana as I am. But sweet baby Osbert, 99%. That pretty much settles who’s the Montel [...]
November 28, 2006
Posted by Kurt
Dun Dun DUNNN
The writing exam’s tomorrow morning. Wish me luck! I’ll need a lot of it for the invigilators to not notice the 5-pound dictionary bulging through my pants.
November 22, 2006
Posted by Kurt
Beijing Weather Update: 85% Chance of Silent Hill
I awoke yesterday morning to this lovely sight: No, it’s not Fog. It’s his bastard cousin Smog — same crap visibility but with 1001% more lung damage. The upside is, you get extra-black boogers, in half the time! HOW COOL IS THAT?! The Recovering Shopaholic is LOVING the weather. No prizes for guessing why.
