Highway Robbery

For those just regaining consciousness from the New Year’s Eve drinkfest, we regret to inform you that in your absence, 2007 actually happened. This is what you get for trusting Kim-Jong Il. Now we’ll have to wait for our ol’ pal Mahmoud to end the damn world for us, just as soon as he finishes enriching himself and his family. And oh, that plutonium.

Speaking of enrichment, we have some GREAT news on the local front, if your name happens to be Lin Yun Ling. Otherwise, we’ll have to kindly ask that you put both hands on the table and bend over, like the obedient serf that you are (Yes, it’s 5 inches wide. No, you may not call your lawyer). Why? Because the Works Minister whose name we shall not mention for security reasons (Samy Vellu) says so. Or at least his hairpiece did. This blog can’t be sure.

But what we can be sure of, is that thanks to the valiant efforts of various highly-esteemed corporate and government assholes, toll prices WILL go up, HAVE gone up, and will CONTINUE to go up until our grandchildrens’ boobs and penises have long come down. And we have no one to blame for it but Celine Dion, who thank God does not have the power to invoke the ISA.

I had a conversation with my uncle once, who observed:

When I was about your age (in the 70s) fresh out of university, the average starting salary was RM1300, a bowl of kali mee RM1.50, a brand new Honda Accord only RM20,000 and a double storey link house in PJ about RM150,000. Today you young flers ar, kali mee already RM5 to RM12 one bowl, a lousy Plotong Wira RM50,000, small house in PJ at least RM300,000 and your salary still RM1300. HA HA HA! Good luck to you young cikus man. Better work hard!

Of course, my uncle could not be more wrong. Today, young cikus are able to purchase RM7 million worth of shares in a major listed company and take losses of RM200,000, all while being unemployed. AND, today a bowl of curry mee is only RM1, paid in 12 monthly installments.

Progress!