May 2, 2006
Posted by Kurt
Lunch Time!
I have a big, possibly life-changing decision to make right now: Curry rice from the nearby stalls yet again, or the unthinkable: McDonalds Delivery. I’m going to go out on a limb here and sell my soul to the fast food gods this time, because frankly, one more curry meal and somebody will get hurt, mostly myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I love curry. There was a time in Melbourne, completing the final year of my Bachelor of Absenteeism, when I was totally desperate for a good, authentic curry. I was willing to do ANYTHING, even something totally crazy like showing up for class.
Ha ha! I’m kidding, mom! I attended every class, and on time too. Seriously. I was a model student.
Anyways, where I work, your food choices are pretty much: curry, curry, and noodles. With curry. Extreme variety aside, another major reason why I am trying to avoid consuming food from the stalls nearby is: dogpoo. And the fact that water coming out of the taps there have the color of poo (that means brown, in case yours is neon purple). I think the dogpoo deserves a special paragraph all on its own (nothing against NEWater crapwater, I just like solids better):
Around the stalls, live a pack of mongrels. No, not the Backstreet Boys; stray dogs. They are an amazing bunch, because unlike the Backstreet Boys, they can actually hold a note. But what I’m trying to say here is, they regularly contribute to the nation by pooping in such strategic locations where people inevitably sink their foot into and utter words not fit for print on a family blog that is desperately trying to remain family-friendly despite the fact that all of its readers are single and the blog’s last post featured naked Lego people doing intimate Lego people things in public Garden of Lego areas.
And you know what they say about food prepared in a mongrel excrement laden environment, but I don’t and I don’t want to know about it. I just ain’t eating it. Ever again, not even if you forced me, until Thursday. That is the extent of my resolve; and it would have been a mightier resolve, if I knew what “resolve” means.
So McDonalds it is. I’m sure some of you readers are thinking: “Kurt, you cretin, McDonalds is no different from dogpoo!”, and I would have to agree. But at least they wear sanitary gloves and fly infestations are not a major health concern.
3 Comments
May 2, 2006
Alright sir, one McMongrel Poo Pie, a side order of McMutt Tail-Fries, and a supersized McDog CockaCola.
Do you want McPoodle Paste with that sir?
May 2, 2006
Lunch time???…I kinda busy for lunch…
May 2, 2006
McDonald’s hamburgers are made with 100% beef – no additives or fillers- and seasoned only with salt and pepper :p
and you WAS a model student… haha…
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