5 Year Old With a 6-Pack. Mommy!

Call it a hunch, but if there’s any abuse going on in this family, it’s probably from him.

I’m supposed to be able to take 26 of these runts in a fight. If they’re all stacked like this, I’m fucked.

Sure, your bird can shoot stuff and twirl around like a helicopter, but can it make camera shutter noises or mimic a chainsaw?

So a couple of weeks back my wife and I went on my company trip to Krabi, my first beach outing since Dr Mahatir discovered the wonders of labeling your enemy a sodomite in a largely conservative Muslim country.

We flew AirAsia, which sucked harder than I expected. I kept hearing about the legendary nasi lemak they serve on board, so I was hoping to try it. In the air, I waited for the service cart to crawl its way to my middle aisle, but by the time it did 40 minutes later, all that was left were spaghetti meatballs and some shitty chicken rice. FFFFFUUUUUUUUU

But the spaghetti meatballs were ok. I was so hungry by then even Jack Black’s hairy balls would have tasted like assiette de cochon de lait rôti et son jus de cuisson. The flight back was worse – there was absolutely no food left. Not a morsel, not even a bottle of water. Apparently everyone can fly, but not everyone can eat.

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They’re cute and bubbly and a bit creepy.

You never get used to it.

I’ll be off to Krabi tomorrow for the weekend, but I leave you with good news:

According to German research published in New England Journal of Medicine, men staring at women’s breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.

“Just 10 minutes of looking at the charms of a well-endowed females is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

Sure, the article is vague, sensational, lacking credible scientific references and was probably written by the same person who wrote the paper proclaiming regular consumption of semen is good for female health BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT.

It’s boobies dude! And some things you just want to believe. We’ll stare our way to immortality, one pair of boobs at a time, or six!

TO TITS!

Who shares her secrets on how to move your “A cups to CC cup.”