Road Rage

What the fuck is up with Malaysian drivers today? Almost all of them drive like the law doesn’t exist. They drive like they’re in Grand Theft Auto. And on many occasions I’ve been tempted to plant a Grand Theft Auto style baseball bat in their fucking faces for being complete assholes and a danger to everyone else on the road. I think I’d be doing the rest of us a service.

I can’t take a 5-minute drive around my neighborhood nowadays without coming across some cretin who stops his car in the middle of the fucking road to make a u-turn across double white lines into oncoming traffic, or swerves without warning into some imaginary space in front of me, or parks his car in the middle of the road while he has a leisurely lunch at the mamak and causing a major traffic jam. Fuck them!

Then there are the rich, self-important douchebags, all too common around Bangsar, who think their passe Porsche Carreras and single-digit number plates are a license to drive like people with single digit IQs and park wherever the hell they want. These people deserve a special type of lynching that involves barbed wire. But going around their car with a key is a good start.

And don’t get me started on motorcyclists. Let’s just say that whenever I read about one of them getting their heads run over by a truck, my nipples harden.