October 24, 2005
Posted by Kurt
Robbin’ the Hood
Recently I read this news item about a botched attempt by nine men to loot a house filled to the upper crevices with hoarded cigarettes, owned by a profiteering wholesaler who, from what I can tell, has been attending business seminars run by squirrels.
Waja = 1, MR2 = 0
The article had me asking some soul-searching, gut-wrenching questions about the state of our society in recent times, such as “our cops drive MR2s?” and more importantly, “OUR COPS DRIVE MR2s??”
If you’ve been reading your newspapers lately, you know that our cops are under-paid (heh) and live in apartments approximately the size of the hole Saddam Hussein was found squatting in, only smaller and with 16 dependents. The government also knows this, and has allocated a significant amount of taxpayers’ (READ: YOUR) money this year to “upgrade existing infrastructure†and “improve the quality of life†of the Police Force, which is great. So they’re buying 4.5 billion ringgit worth of Ferraris. The existing MR2s will be phased out and used as mobile roadblocks, as perfectly demonstrated in the picture above, and at least 5 family members can now sleep in the 612 Scaglietti at night to ease the congestion in the apartment, where everyone can finally sleep lying down.
Thieves and robbers, on the other hand, will have no such budget allocations, and will no doubt soon come to realize that their Honda “Kap Chai”s and Proton Wajas no longer cut it, and have to take out a second mortgage to either upgrade their wheels to Ducatis or Lambos or give up their current careers entirely and work for the IRB.
But minor details aside, this is a smashing example of your tax money being put to good use, and you should be inspired to greater heights of patriotism; but try to sing the National Anthem exactly in tune and in “the right way, the way it was gazetted”, or the MP for Sri Gading Datuk Mohamed Aziz will have to cut short his nap and call Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Datuk Seri Rais Yatim out for a round of golf at The Mines, after which the loser will have to launch a full scale, National Priority investigation into why you went off pitch at “TUHAN KURNIAKaaAAaaN”.
Datuk Seri Rais Yatim lost, of course. He never got a shot off. The clubhouse was later found filled to the upper crevices with hoarded golf balls. And you know whose golf seminars he attended.
After all, you paid for it.
1 Comments
November 21, 2005
After close to 10 years living (studying & working) in Spore, I am a stranger in my own country. Ashamed to say it, but the way things work in Malaysia unnerves & disappoints me to no end. I truly admire my friends & relatives for their commitment to the country, while I am content to play ‘visitor’.
I hope you won’t get into trouble for this.
Sorry, comments for this entry are closed at this time.