Shame Shame

This morning I almost sprayed oatmeal on my monitor when I read this article by our beloved stylistically challenged, grammatically retarded, and apparently shy shy english newspaper The Star:

A MAN who misused cucumbers and brinjals while having sex with his wife is in trouble with the law.

The woman claimed that he had forced a cucumber or a brinjal into her private part at least seven times in the past six years ago, police sources told Harian Metro.

Private part? What are we, 5 year olds? “You show me your pet pet and I show you my bird bird?”

We Malaysians may be prudes (superficially at least), but wow, how infantile is this? Is “genitals” too exotic a word for our national english newspaper? Too suggestive?

Maybe “woohoo” will do it. “Meat curtains.” “Bob.” Or here’s a crazy idea – let’s call it what the rest of the adult world calls it: vagina.

Come on Star, stop being a bunch of pussies.