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Unbaptized Babies Upgraded to Heaven

The Catholic Church recently declared that all babies who die before they are baptized now go to Heaven, instead of the previously believed Limbo.

LIMBO.

Good thing they finally sorted that one out. Call me a pessimist, but I don’t think those babies have the balance and muscular strength to do the limbo for all eternity. At the end of the first eon alone their diapers would weigh 5 billion galaxies.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 23rd, 2007 at 12:15 am and is filed under Society. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

7 Responses to “Unbaptized Babies Upgraded to Heaven”

  1. jasonphoon Says:
    April 23rd, 2007 at 3:03 am

    limbo must be quite a heavy place then. notice , it’s not hell , but limbo. and funny link to the limbo dance -_-

  2. hedonistics anonymous Says:
    April 23rd, 2007 at 9:02 am

    i thought you guys send them to purgatory?

  3. Tim Says:
    April 23rd, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    Its nice to see that after your “Oh Hell” article you’ve become more religious. Worship is a lifestyle. Lol!

    [Religious?? Tim, what have you been sniffing? Too many girls' necks, and I will have to tell your girlfriend. UPDATE: Aaron? What are you doing using Tim's name? Too many fake identities, and I will have to tell your girlfriend --Kurt]

  4. Dabido (Teflon) Says:
    April 23rd, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    Hedo – Purgatory is for the ‘unpurified elect’ … ie, people going to heaven who need to be tortured a little in order to make them pur enough to enter.

    Some believe that if you don’t get the last rites then you’re not quite pure enough, or if you have unconfessed sins etc.

    The doctine only came about in the 1100′s … so even te early Romans didn’t beleive it … in fact, they’ve NOT beleived in it longer than they have beleived in purgatory.

    Kurt – We can always put those babies on low skateboards to help them do the limbo. No need for them to try to fit under … just roll them out of Limbo! :-)

    [I like the way you think, man. Rollin' Outta Limbo is a great name for a rock band. -- Kurt]

  5. ronlim Says:
    April 23rd, 2007 at 9:52 pm

    OK which counter to get the Upgraded stamp?

    [It's one of the rings on the Pope's fingers. I think it's the one next to the "Eternal Damnation" ring. Make sure you position your forehead right. --Kurt]

  6. Dabido (Teflon) Says:
    April 24th, 2007 at 10:51 pm

    A name for a rock band! Wow! Tha’s kewl! I’d love to see the album cover of the self title first album! :-)
    We could have flames leaping out of an exhaust pipe on the skateboards as well! ;-)

  7. Gabby Says:
    April 25th, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    Can we really decide where to send them? Initially I thought babies who die turned into angels or cupids. No meh? Shucks!