Why No Updates

1. Home internet connection down until the router gets fixed or replaced, and

2. This guy:

Readers, meet Matt. Matt, meet readers.

Matt is down from Chicago on a recon mission to complete his Masters in Asian History, and my family have decided to host him for 9 days while he’s here.

As you can see, Matt is hard at work on his Masters Thesis. Since I am very knowledgable in Asian History (for example, did you know that Hong Kong star Ekin Cheng went by the name Dior Cheng and Noodle Cheng early in his career? Yes, he is a very creative individual), I decided to help over the weekend, by taking him to various historical places, such as the Hilton KL to meet a friend, where the Mai Tais served at the poolside look like they were made in 500 B.C., and the Dewan Filharmonik Petronas for an afternoon of cheerful festive music written by mostly deceased composers dating back to before anyone believed in Santa. In exchange, Matt generously allowed me to take his picture.

It’s always eye-opening whenever I get to talk to a person from a foreign country. For example, my eyes opened the size of Kenny’s coconuts when he told me that a pair of Levi’s only costs about USD20 over there. Twenty! Here, we’re getting a new ass ripped everytime we plonk down RM270 for a pair of 501s, and I can’t even console myself by tucking into a Chicago deep-dish pizza. Instead, I get shafted with yet another overpriced Pizza-Hut stuffed crust variant that tastes like something festering between a cow’s udders.

But jeans aside I still think we get the better package deal here, with chicken rice and nasi lemak and roti canai, three reasons to never leave this country. And that is precisely why we have not taken Matt to try any of these, for fear he may overstay his visa only to be caught 6 months later by immigration officers at Syed’s stuffing his face with roti bom. Tonight, we’re taking him to McDonald’s for dinner.